Please help,father wants contact after turning me away?

My Father,an Indian sikh had an affair with my mother 44 years ago,he had no contact with me but paid maintenance until I was 16.My mother died when I was in my early twenties and she was the only family I had, all the rest had died. I felt the need to contact him as I was now on my own as I wanted answers to a lot of questions.I eventually traced him to a sikh day care centre and I went to see him,he wouldn't answer my questions and said he didn't want me to come back.He told me I had a few siblings.unknown to my father i traced my brother and met 1 of my sisters,they had never been told about me and they never told their Father that we had met.I felt I was a dirty secret.I felt very unhappy but accepted that he didn't want me in his life.This year in january I contacted a friend who happens to know a friend of my Father,I was phoning her to wish her a Happy New year when she asked me if my Father had contacted me.I was really surprised that she should ask me this as she knew he had rejected me years ago.she then told me that My Father had contacted her friend and told her that life was too short and he'd told his wife and family about me and he wanted contact with me,He didn't have any phone number for me and didn't know where I lived.This message was passed on to my daughters boyfriend last november but he decided not to pass it on,as he doesn't like me.My Father stays in India for a few months of the year and he had already left for India before I got this message.My Father will be coming home soon ,I don't know when, but since I got to know that he wants contact with me,it has put me under a lot of stress,I have waited nearly all my life to be accepted and I have a lot of mixed emotions,I'm very apprehensive,every time the phone rings I jump,I can't eat properly my sleep pattern is disturbed and i have been physically sick through nerves.I asked my doctor for counselling before I meet my father but there is a long waiting list.Has anyone else been in this position and can anyone help me? I would like to know the best way to start the conversation going when i do meet him.I don't want to get over emotional and cry ,or get angry with him ,for rejecting me,as I just want to be accepted by him and don't want to scare him away,If anyone out there has any similar experience of this could y ou please help as i feel I'm walking on eggshells just now,Thanks very much